It was a nice Christmas, if you figure that somehow I didn't ruin it with my characteristically churlish behavior. Christmas brings out the unpleasant, socially awkward me. It's the side of me that doesn't smile much, that moves from room to room and never sits still for very long.

We have this print of Goodnight Moon, and I liked it - but I didn't even love it very much. When my baby cousin was first born, my mom suggested that we give it to him but I objected (even though I love the cousin and his parents). I changed my mind at one point, though, but when my mother gave them the print on Christmas my face screwed up and I looked stricken. I was tired and in a hideously unpleasant mood.

I held a sleeping baby on my lap. I thought "I love my cat, but I love this baby more." I probably jinxed myself, because our cat has disappeared.

My mother's family likes these extravagant, loud parties where they all descend upon us. I don't. You don't get to see anyone, barely, and it's too loud to ever hear anyone, and there's no room and everyone brings way too much food. I like quieter, smaller get togethers, I like being able to talk to my cousins and aunts and uncles, 'cause I really love some of them quite a bit. (Mercy, but some of my cousin-in-laws are the coolest people on the planet! Sometimes with my family I sit around and wish that some of them had married someone who wouldn't make a face or roll their arch little eyes when they were being silly, and I don't have to wish that with the cousins of my generation.)

We played a massive six hour game of Lord of the Rings RISK. So. Much. Fun. Bonus: I did not cry even though I lost in the last round after playing extraordinarily well - I had been so strong but the black scourge of the east wiped me out. My uncle looks like a big hobbit. My uncle: biggest sweetheart around. He kissed me on the cheek as he left, all stubble and a scratchy mustache. I can't tell you what he said to me, but it broke my heart.

I got an Ordinance Survey map of Wales. My family loves me. Also: Baudolino (which is hilarious if you know what my friend gave me for Christmas), pretty hair clips, an incredible fancy watch, all manner of things for study abroad, Sexing the Cherry, Written on the Body, and pretty earrings.

2002-12-26, Christmas, some more

before / after

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