I woke up, entirely wide awake, at three am on the dot. God has it in for me, or something.
Man.
I used to read a lot more because I read myself to sleep every night. Now I can only fall asleep with cartoons. My neighbors must hate me - futurama at 3am.
2004-09-22, cartoons
We're having a Madonna party this weekend and I've lost my corset, amongst other misfortunes.
Well, that's actually my entire misfortune right there, but I can't help but wonder where the damn, asphyxiating thing got to. Waists do not run in my family, and even the corset doesn't give me much of one, but it was still kinda fun to wear.
2004-09-21, oh well
I need more company. I would like someone to cook for, twice a week, and someone who'll talk about books with me while we split a bottle of wine. It can be a fake book club. If I don't have good dinner company, sometimes I just eat tortilla chips for dinner, and it's no good. I would like a comforting routine. I don't think there's anything wrong with routine at all.
2004-09-21, incorrigibile
Work goes by really quickly, which is fantastic. I am very, very happy with my job - which is great since I was very upset the first week. It's hard to get settled. The only thing that gives me pause is the thoughts I have about what my next step should be, but I'm going to postpone them for a year. I am just afraid I'll postpone them forever and become a career secretary. Jessie pointed out that I can't support her on a career secretary's salary. Hmm.
"I don't want to be supported in the manner I am accustomed to - I want to be supported in a manner which I have never really known."
It has gotten very, very cold - I don't think it actually has a whole lot to do with autumn but more with Ivan. Still, there's something bracing and wonderful about the onset of autumn. I am very happy about it.
I think I have a very kind of hermit streak that comes out only sometimes, but I've been a bit isolated and holed up in my apartment lately. It's not bad but it isn't great either.
2004-09-20, autumn!
So I am going to make a list of songs I would share with you all if I didn't have a four year old malfunctioning computer:
1. Ancora Tu by The Married Monk. The Married Monk is my all time favorite band ... of the past month. But Ancora Tu is beautiful in an almost sleazy kind of way. My Italian informant tells me that it has a general love theme, but she was too drunk at the time to divulge more about the lyrics.
2. Black Postcards by Luna. I feel like it's my LIFE. In song form. Well, almost.
3. Funny how Love Is by Queen. Is that the title? I don't know. The percussion keeps very different time from the vocals, which makes it sound very space age. The lyrics are kind of conventional but I like the line: "Funny how love is coming home in time for tea."
4. That fool was me by Barry Adamson. "Only a fool would leave you, and that fool was me." Yeah, that fool was YOU, Brian. Also I like the phrase "dysfunction junction."
5. Horsey by HEM. Most of you have this, so it is okay, but I feel as though someone took my psyche on a good day and made this song out of it. It's pretty.
6. Have I mentioned that I love Barry Adamson? He's definitely worth checking out. He's sometimes too out there for my tastes, but man. He has a sexy voice which he only recently started to use. Before that he was composing soundtracks to movies that don't exist.
7. There are about seven or eight Married Monk songs that have got under my skin, but I can never remember their titles. Uh... Coco Clown. Bachelorhood Fields. Stuck. Ola Mujeres. Death in the Savannah.
8. Baby Love Child by Pizzicato Five. I think my car really likes this song.
9. Whole bunch of Suzanne Vega songs that I don't think everyone would like but I adore: Marlene on the Wall, I'll Never be your Maggie May, Soap and Water, Room on the Street, Widow's Walk, Priscilla, Penitent. I love her latest album. I think it's fantastic, and horribly sad to listen to.
10. Also I really like the album Talkie Walkie by Air, which is not a band I thought I'd like.
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Today I was delightedly relating my Adventures with Bleach to my most environmentalist friends, who expressed their disgust with me and told me to use vinegar for my cleaning needs. Then they started talking about radical menstruation. This has nothing to do with music, but I think it's an episode of how I should be better at choosing my audiences.
2004-09-12, cherry blossom girl
Goodness gracious, internet access!
I can't even remember what's happened since I last wrote in here.
I've been broken up with, gone through three jobs now, graduated and moved out of my parent's house. Since May. What a crazy summer.
I'm almost in love with where I live. I've noticed that when I take good care of my living spaces, it usually means that I'm taking good care of myself. Right now I'm a little bewildered at how I've managed to cram so much stuff into a rather spacious one bedroom apartment. After having lived in dorm rooms for four years, I'm not sure where everything came from.
I feel as though Frank L. Baum would approve of my little suite, so that's always a good thing. It feels homely and whimsical. I hung up poems Melissa had sent me in my bedroom, low and horizontal like my bed. There are growing things everywhere and reproduction prints of mode drawings from the 20s. Most things have secret significance.
For the most part, I keep it neat. My clotheshorse tendency has gotten a little out of control ("I'll tell you when I've had enough") but when everything is put away I feel incredibly happy.
I'd be a little more in love with where I live if I got morning light in the bedroom, but I settle for beautiful afternoon and evening light filtered through my four year old ficus plant.
I bought sunflowers and (decent for east coast) sourdough bread at the farmer's market, cortlands and empires are in season, I think my neighbor has seen me too scantily dressed for comfort, and I think life is mostly okay.
2004-09-12, -
Got my first job rejection today.
I cried a bit, then started working on this pirates paper I've been neglecting.
I am capital T Terrified of not finding work of some sort.
I have horrible blisters on my feet.
2004-05-07, boring and sad
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