It's about time to start work.

I think I realized that they don't need to be words on the page. It's words in general that have given me what I need. I went to see Sandra Cisneros speak last night, and nearly lost myself listening to the last passage she read. It was so erotic and mournful and I felt it through my body. I know that I have always needed words and that they keep me going, but they need to be words that were meant to be spoken. It was unbelievably affecting - I shut my eyes and felt dizzy.

Soon I head home, and take the train up north. Going home will cure me of my homesickness because I will realize quite quickly that my homesickness is just an empty fantasy. It is a little bit dissatisfaction with school, a little bit just general unease.

The thing about library work is that it's all really really important. We make information available, we make it accessable and that is essential work. But you know what? While it's all important and it all needs to be done, it is horrendously boring. My boss at Wes had a sense of what we needed to do a good job, to be good worker bees, and first of all we need companionship. My job here is miserably lonely and I just can't bring myself to spending another hour and a half reading the Pennsylvania Code Reporter while feeling sorry for myself.

I have to, I have to. I am a good worker, a good girl, I follow the rules, etc.

2002-10-09, work work work

before / after

archives / website / hello book / diaryland