The Trains

Today I took the train for a two minute ride. My foot is still hurtin' so I am taking it easy, and taking the train is always like a treat. Do you ever notice the way some sort of motion is felt in your body, especially if you aren't moving yourself? I like driving over little hills in the road at a fast speed, such that you can feel your stomach drop out. Today I watched the train speed away and a tall, limestone building behind it stand stock still. It made my heart rush.

On the way down, I half hoped the conductor wouldn't collect my ticket. I sat in the back of the car and didn't put the ticket in the little holder. When the ticket collector walked by, he didn't even see me. But as I stood to leave the train, I had a crisis of conscience. I gave the conductor my ticket at the last minute.

"Oh, ma'am, thank you ma'am, have a nice day." I smiled to get the extra thanks; and was pleased with myself. I had come foreward when he should have asked me for a ticket. I got extra thanks because I volunteered the ticket that I should have made visible earlier. I felt proud of myself, but also a little queasy. I was ostentatious in my act of behaving as a good train citizen. Ay, well, I figure it's better that I paid for that trip even if it was belated.

On the way back, the train broke down. The air brakes wouldn't work, and the next train was delayed. We stood around in the warm, eleven o'clock sun. People were agitated, even though it was a mid-day train. All I could hear was complainings and people shouting into cell phones.

A little man came up to me and asked me what I was late for. I smiled and said, "Nothing." He laughed and said "How can that be? Everyone is late!" Later I wished I'd said "I am never late nor am I early, I arrive precisely when I mean to" ala Gandalf. But I didn't, I just smiled and enjoyed the sun and chatted things up with the sweet conductors. Then three headlights came, slowly rolling in to pick up the agitated masses and myself.

2002-09-20, Trains in vain

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