Way across some cold neurotic sea
She says that I am the most "brilliantly emotional person" that she knows. She once said that she thought I was very impressive. And intense. How did she know this is what I wanted to be? Even if she was lying, she knew that I coveted these qualities.
Once I told her that I wanted to be a robot, that I wanted to surrender. She said no no no.
Before a holiday, she shook and sobbed. I tried to hold her, but you can't - she won't let you. She trembled. I thought she might break if I tried to catch her in my arms. She could not relax. I try not to hold her because it makes her uncomfortable - human hands - but sometimes, like when she was crying, I don't know what else to do. I felt caught.
Thorny woman, all I want is you. Pensive woman, who reads more than I can even begin to imagine, who speaks truthfully, you're mine.
It might not be long before I see her again, but then, I do think that I will die tomorrow.
Outside I sit on the stone steps
With nothing much to do
Forlorn and exhausted, baby
By the absence of you
2003-01-03, Some cold neurotic sea
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