I think that most of this is a complicated experiment to figure out the balance between pleasure and pain, ala Jane's Addiction. It's like I'm trying to do calculus by trial and error - which is admittedly not the smartest way to go about calculus. Maximising pleasure, minimizing pain. I can't quite remember enough of calculus to say if this analogy is working. It's not exactly a bad thing at all, I don't think. I sometimes have thought it a necessary thing, though maybe not.

I do miss my girlfriends though.

2003-04-08, oh me oh my

before / after

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