When I was seventeen, I went on a date with a man I met online. He was probably in his late twenties. He flirted with me, and I put on my Mae Rose Cottage type ingenue dress, lamenting my lack of kisses, displaying my mammary glands in digital form. (What a fucking weirdo I was. I'm glad nothing has changed!) I flirted with him. He said I seemed very kissable and I was tickled for days. He showed me his penis on his webcam and... I went out with him anyway.

With three of my boyfriends in tow. My heavies! It was one of the sweetest things ever done for me. They refused to let me go alone. They were really really cute, plotting battle plans and talking very seriously about what weapons they would bring.

He showed up, seemed perfectly normal, tall as a bear and nice enough. The boys disappeared to play cards and leave us alone, but I kept gigglingly dragging them back to the table. I barely looked him in the eyes the whole time, didn't say much, and never spoke to him again.

Now, I tell you about this sterling incident because I just don't want any of you to think that going to an all women's college is what set me up for strange, probably not the best, relations with men.

Oh yeah, then there was the man from Florida, thirty and overweight and all told, kinda boring, who (while making it quite clear he didn't find me beautiful) did find me pretty enough, and confessed a weakness for really young girls. Hahahhaa, I have to... go now.

2003-05-10, My Sexual Experiences Via Internet

before / after

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