- receiving extraordinarily unpleasant catcalls on the street
- picking a fight with a bag lady about when the train is coming ("I've been riding this train for six years!" "Oh yeah?!? I've been riding this train for four!")
- being alone, and a bit lonely
- being chatted up by an annoying person who did not take my brusque brush offs as, in fact, brush offs
- having to leave well before they finished to catch my train.
- all those dirty hippies smoking dirty pop
...this was such a cool concert.
I love going to shows. It's so nice to go to a show that isn't my usual thing. I do like the Super Furry Animals, but I also like gettin' out of the house and hearing something different. In this case, psychedelic post-punk Welsh rock.
Now I am tired! Long, busy day. Woke up at eight, exercised, worked at library, read the Illiad, danced, ate, read more Illiad, took test, finished bibliography for thesis, had dinner with thesis folks, changed, waited around forever at the train station (because not only did I pick a fight with the bag lady, I was wrong) sprinted to the theater, and rocked hard.
2004-02-13, now to bed
Okay, so I've been procrasturbating all freakin' day now. Now I'm bored and don't want to be doing homework. Also my eyes hurt.
she knew nobody when she first arrived, marietta queen of pancakes, crawled out of the bisquick mix with nothing but her wishes strapped to torpedo hips. at the fisherman's motel eyes alight on nylon spread turning fountains on the ceiling into himalayan range, hands caked in mud, black as a dove, forward motion now
I ache all over.
2004-02-11, and some things are left unsaid
Today someone pulling out of a parking spot slammed into my car. They're at fault, but the thought of working out all the details just makes me rather ill. I'm too busy for this. I'm too anxious for this.
I went out for dinner with Cheng tonight, which was very pleasant despite the knot in my throat.
She's a lot of fun on romantic candlelit dinners.
I'm a bit distracted lately.
2004-02-10, king of bluffs
I want a man who is amongst the most noble, the most magnificent, the most that a man could possibly be.
I'm feeling a little secretive and cagey about a few things. I think I understand a few things about me a bit better now.
I'm exhausted from school, already. I've been working really hard - harder than I have in years. I work and I work and I get stuff done but I never get on top of all I have to do. I'm tired. Mondays are the worst. I work steadily from nine thirty to nine thirty, and then get home and have to do reading for the rest of the week. It's tiring.
I am feeling smart, though. I'm learning a huge amount about Welsh poetry and a few other things I've always loved - like the early modern colonial world and medieval monasticism. But I really took the last week off in terms of homework and now I'm paying through the nose.
I got my car towed the other day. That sucked.
I've been dealing with things. Just, kinda, constantly.
I came across a really resounding Lazarus story somewhere in my readings and I wish I could find it again.
I love hagiography. Especially when it involves flocks of naked virgins and briar patches. I love reading primary sources about pirates, except of course when they're raping nuns like they are in this one right now. Francis Drake was really cute. Captain Morgan was not so cute.
And that's about it.
2004-02-09, and now i'm not your lucifer
My favorite typo lately was Cheng calling me "Mooge." That's a good name.
The more poetry I read, the more I realize how unlikely it is that I'll ever write poetry.
Couple things running through my head, first of which is the fact that in my infinite senility I can't find where I laid my copy of the Illiad. I have a few books to read before I can sleep, so I'd like to find it.
2004-01-26, not gonna live like a poet either
It's funny how you never know exactly when you're asked to grow
Exactly when you take the load or head up on your own road
Exactly which the day will be, maybe Ash Wednesday
Or Mardi Gras
before / after
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