A miracle is what you are

Dear world,

I have arrived safely at school, despite dangerous amounts of sleep-deprivation. I deal poorly with sleep deprivation, and make mistakes like you wouldn't believe. Finally, on Saturday, I fell asleep at midnight despite being a jittery, jumpy mess.

All in all, I forgot:

Running shoes (despite carrying them around for ages, thinking "gotta put these in the car." I still don't quite know what happened to them.)

Battery charger for camera

Tape

AC CORD FOR COMPUTER. Man, that one sucked big time. I wasn't sure if you could easily replace them (you can) and so I commenced Worrying. The computer's no good if you can't plug it in.

I forgot other stuff, too.

I forgot my Folder of Postcards Received. I have the ones I got over the summer, and they are proudly, happily on my door. Beloved friends from all over the world have sent me postcards, and I yearn for the time to reciprocate in kind.

I've been watching you breathing and it's hard to conceive of anything that could make me feel gladder.

I work in flurries, in bursts of ecstatic energy, and then it's a long time until that happens again. But you catch me during one of these spells, and you watch out. I'm golden, on top of my game, and animated beyond belief.

Anyway. The study abroad fandango should be finished today, and mercifully out of my hands. I have done the best I could, and I think it will work out fine. You can tell that I am writing this in the morning, because if this were eleven last night I would be bawling about any number of things. Oooh, maybe it's a bad idea! Oooh, maybe they won't let me go! Oooh! I am such a wuss at night but I'm always, always better in the morning. And today, even though it is grey and wet out, is mercifully a day. I feel on top of things, and that's all I can hope for, really.

Oh yes, my courses have been messing with my head. I finally worked out a to-die-for list of courses, and I was so thrilled and relieved. I'd spent the evening cursing and mostly being angry, and then it turned out beautifully. I was excited about all of my courses.

And then I realized that one of them had changed their time and date and the Registrar hadn't noted the changes on the online system. And then I bawled and went to bed. Ah, Miser Margaret. When will you learn?

I've noticed that I'm unlikely to swear here. I don't really know why I do these little things, but I do. I promise that I'm not a prude, or prim and proper, but there are just some things that I can't bring myself to say. Little bits of profanity are unpleasant to me, little combinations of words are distasteful. It's not a big deal, really.

All in all, I love you nearly, I love you now, all in all. All things said and done, I love you darling, is that enough?

Precious Mary, Queen of Glory, I feel your face and you reassure me that it can wait, all the time it takes.

I don't have the sophistication of witty monologue. I don't have words that dazzle flipping forward from my tongue. But all in all, I love you darling, is that enough? Can you take it, undefined devotion, handed to you in the rough?

Yours,

Marge

2002-09-02, A miracle is what you are

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